It's like walking into a candy store. Every eye color, profession, height, geography, spirituality, sense of humor and passion wait for you when you log in to the site. In a way, it's a fantasy coming true – all you have to do is choose.
There's no longer a need to go out to a pub or the library and hope your perfect one walks through the door. You can decide in detail who to search for, up to the size of her or his shoe.
Yet once you meet away from the screen, reality sets in. How can you know if your date's a good fit?
1) Values
We all have guideposts to help us move through life and create a path we can be proud of and happy about. Consider which values are non-negotiable and which have wiggle room.
Some vegetarians, for example, lead happy lives with carnivores while others wouldn't go out on a date with them. Similarly, if you and your date have conflicting religious or political believes, you might face additional challenges. It doesn't mean the relationship won't work, yet it's definitely something to consider.
2) Sense of Humor
A sense of humor is one of the more diverse traits humanity has. People find different things funny and they bring up humor at all kinds of times.
A sense of humor can reflect how a person lives her or his life, how they treat others and themselves and what they value, so pay attention to your partner's sense of humor and to how she or he responds to yours.
3) The Way You Express Love
Some people like to talk and others like to show. Some view expressing love as buying each other elaborate gifts while others prefer simple, daily gestures. Some are romantics and others mix love with cynicism. Some goof around all the time and others need serious moments.
Think of how you'd like to express your love for your partner and how you'd like your partner to express love for you. You could teach each other how to treat you, but don't go into a relationship hoping you'll change them down the line.
4) Your Goals and Dreams
Whether you want to have kids, where you want to live and how much money you're comfortable having are just the beginning. Are you career-driven and your partner is not? Do you love the thrill of entrepreneurship while they need the security of a regular job? Are you all about self-growth and they don't deal well with change? Do you want to travel the world and live a nomadic lifestyle and your partner prefers the community that comes with setting roots?
You don't need to have identical goals and dreams for the relationship to last – and compromise is part of any relationship – yet consider in advance what you're willing to compromise and what you can't live without.
5) Your Relationships With Yourselves
How much you love yourself and invest in your own life is how much you'll be truly emotionally available to love another. Don't look to be someone's better half, but your own full person building a richer life with another full person.
Create a healthy relationship with your body, your mind and your soul, and choose someone who's creating a healthy relationship with her or himself. That's ingredient number one for a healthy relationship with each other.
Comments
Post a Comment